


mutualism

by PaintedVanilla



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Dates, M/M, Married Couple, Secret Relationship, kind of but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 11:49:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17059250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintedVanilla/pseuds/PaintedVanilla
Summary: When Wilson walks into her office with House’s name on his lips, he’s either there to tell her he’s back on his bullshit with yet another patient, he’s mad at him for reasons outside the hospital, or he’s simply perplexed by his husband.





	mutualism

Cuddy likes being the only one who knows about Wilson and House.

It’s mutualism. 

House doesn’t have to suffer, because he likes to kiss and tell. Unfortunately, the only person he’d want to tell, he’s also kissing. So he gets to live with the silent satisfaction that when Cuddy sees him and Wilson together, he doesn’t even have to do the telling part; she already knows.

Wilson doesn’t have to suffer, because he knows that he can walk into Cuddy’s office and tell her about whatever insane thing House has decided to do to a patient this week, and then tell her whatever insane thing House has decided to do to _him_ this week, all in the same breath. And while they’re walking together to go tell House to stop whatever he’s doing to the patient, even though he’s probably right, Wilson doesn’t have to worry about concealing the affection that’s always lingering in his eyes.

Cuddy doesn’t have to suffer, because she knows that above all else, she has a fail-safe on House. Even if she can’t get him to listen to her, Wilson can prove to be more persuasive. It probably has to do with the fact that they go home to the same bed. And even looking at it from a logical standpoint, a bosses standpoint, Cuddy has to admit that in addition to everything else, it’s enjoyable when Wilson comes into her office to talk about House.

When Wilson walks into her office with House’s name on his lips, he’s either there to tell her he’s back on his bullshit with yet another patient, he’s mad at him for reasons outside the hospital, or he’s simply perplexed by his husband.

The first attitude is the most common, often mixed with some form of the other two. The second attitude is less common, but not as rare as the third. Which is why Cuddy perks up when Wilson walks into her office with that look on his face.

Once the door is shut, Wilson just stands there, dumbly, for a moment, and Cuddy thinks to herself that this must be  _ really  _ good. She’s good at hiding her eagerness, though, and instead just says, “What’s he up to, this time?”

Wilson opens his mouth, then shuts it; he looks at the wall, and then back to Cuddy, “House…” he says slowly, “has a date tonight?”

Cuddy frowns, “You say that like it’s a question.”

“It’s not with me.”

Cuddy raises her eyebrows, shocked. She watches him for a moment; he doesn’t  _ look  _ upset, nowhere near heartbroken, just  _ confused.  _ Then again, that might just be the first stage of finding out your partner is cheating on you.

“He’s not cheating on me.” Wilson says when he catches the look on Cuddy’s face; she gives him a skeptical look, and he shakes his head, “He  _ told  _ me.”

Cuddy frowns, “Why would he - ”

“The date’s with Cameron.”

Now Cuddy feels about as perplexed at Wilson looks; she leans back in her chair, and for a moment they just look at each other, until Cuddy says, “ _ Why? _ ”

“He said that was the only way she would agree to come back.” Wilson tells her.

“And he said  _ yes?”  _ Cuddy asks.

“That’s what I said!” Wilson exclaims, “He says he’s gonna let her down easy afterwards, but I’m just wondering why he couldn’t point to his ring and let her down easy  _ beforehand.” _

“I thought House didn’t wear his ring.” Cuddy says.

“Well, he doesn’t.” Wilson admits, “But, you know, it’s just as easy to say,  _ oh that’s nice, but sorry, I’m married.” _

Cuddy hesitates, “You think she’d believe him if he said he was married?”

Wilson gives her a look, “That’s exactly what he said!” he exclaims, “He said she’d think he was just saying it to avoid the date, and then he would’ve made me come down there and kiss him, and then she would’ve said we were still lying and I’m just in on it.”

“Well, it’s nice to know he had it planned out, just in case.” Cuddy says.

There’s a lull; Wilson is still standing there, his hands on his hips. Cuddy looks him up and down, then says, “So are you gonna tell Cameron?”

Wilson looks startled, “Do you think I should?”

“Would you rather House went on the date?” Cuddy asks.

Wilson hesitates, “She’ll probably think House put me up to it.”

Cuddy nods knowingly, “Tell me how it goes.”

Wilson catches Cameron alone the first opportunity he gets, which is thankfully later that day. 

“Hey.” He says, and she looks over her shoulder at him, “Do you have a minute?”

A knowing smile creeps onto her face, “Is this about House?”

“In a way.” Wilson says, “I heard you two have a date tonight.”

“You heard correctly.” Cameron tells him, turning around to fully face him, “Have you come to warn me about him?”

“... In a way.” Wilson says again, and Cameron grins at him.

“You really don’t have to worry.” She says, “I know how to handle myself with him.”

“Of course.” Wilson says immediately, “It’s just… something else.”

Cameron looks at him curiously, “What?”

“Well…” Wilson trails off; he reaches into the pocket of his lab coat and pulls a small photo out. He stares at it for a moment, then says, “There’s just something I think you should know about him.”

“What?” Cameron asks, “ _ Is  _ this a warning? Because I already  _ know  _ he’s… a mean, narcissistic…”

“No.” Wilson says quickly, then hesitates, “Well, yes, he is… those things, but…”

“What?” Cameron asks, growing impatient.

Instead of answering, Wilson just hands her the photo.

Cameron has never seen House look quite so uncomfortable. He’s clearly trying hard  _ not  _ to look uncomfortable, but he’s not doing a very good job of it. Earlier, Cameron might have assumed it was because of the tie, but now that she has a certain photograph burning a hole in her pocket, she can make a smarter assumption about why he looks like he wants to run away from this scenario. If he could run.

“Why did you say yes?” She finds herself asking.

House hardly looks bothered by the question, “I… needed you back.”

Cameron finds herself smiling; she hesitates, then she says, “When I asked you for dinner you looked so… panicked.”

House doesn’t comment, so she continues, “It was like I could hear you weighing the pros and cons in your head. Like, pro, she’ll come back to work… con, I’ll have to cheat on my husband…”

House’s face shifts from the vaguely uncomfortable expression it had been in all night, to something that almost looks like relief, “He told you.”

“I don’t know why you didn’t just tell me.” Cameron says, “If you had told me you were married - ”

“You wouldn’t have believed me.” House interrupts, “And you wouldn’t have come back to work for me. So I could either have an immunologist and a frustrated husband, or no immunologist and a still frustrated husband.”

He gives Cameron a look, “He’s chronically frustrated with me.”

“I can’t imagine why.” Cameron says flatly.

“Why did you believe him?” House asks, “There’s no way you would have believed me.”

Cameron tries to stop herself from grinning, but she can’t. House’s face falls as soon as he sees the look on hers, “No.”

“You look very nice in a tux.” Cameron tells him.

“I thought I burned that photo.” House says, “I  _ did  _ burn that photo. He told me he didn’t make copies. Bastard.”

Cameron pulls the photo out of her pocket to look at it again; House tries to grab it but she moves quicker than him. She grins at him, and then lowers the photo, “You both look nice in tuxes.”

The photo is of him and Wilson, obviously taken at their wedding, kissing. It’s probably the only physical proof on earth that Greg House is capable of being affectionate.

“Can you give me that?” House asks bitterly, “I need to destroy it.”

“He has copies.” Cameron says, handing the photo over.

House looks at it for a moment, obviously trying not to look reminiscent, and then he tears it in half. Cameron raises her eyebrows, “Wow, you  _ really  _ hate that photo.”

“Did he happen to mention where another copy might be?” House asks, tucking the torn fragments into his pocket, “His desk? Hidden in the lab, maybe?”

“No idea.” Cameron lies, and he squints at her, but doesn’t push the subject.

Cuddy liked being the only one who knew about Wilson and House.

She  _ loves  _ that Cameron knows, now, too.

House doesn’t have to suffer, because he likes to kiss and tell. Wilson doesn’t have to worry about concealing the affection that’s always lingering in his eyes. Cuddy has to admit that in addition to everything else, it’s enjoyable when Wilson comes into her office to talk about House, but it’s even more enjoyable when Cameron comes into her office with today’s story about what she caught the two of them doing. Cameron gets to talk about how annoying the two of them are, providing more detail than either House or Wilson have ever been capable of using when describing each other, and Cuddy gets to sit there and listen to her talk.

It’s mutualism.

**Author's Note:**

> cameron/cuddy is endgame ://


End file.
